HOW TO QUIT YOUR JOB LIKE A BOSS
Here at PeakWorthy we are all about peaking at awesome stuff, being awesome, and celebrating people doing awesome things. So when my friend told me the story of how he just quit his job I immediately asked if i could put it on the internet. Like a Boss, he said yes. So here we are.
My buddy Cody, just quit his job and he did it like a BOSS! Like most Americans living corporate-cubicle lifestyle, he got fed up. And I don’t blame him, he is a young guy playing an old man’s game, plus having someone tell you what to do all the time sucks. Some back-story might help. In the swing of real life after college Cody got a snazzy corporate analysis job with all the perks, salary, stocked break-room fridge, all the office supplies you could ever want. At first he said, he liked it.
There was something about the hour of traffic each way, the little oversight and guidance, the void of any sign of opportunity, and nagging boss who had been doing the business for 30+ years telling him how back in his day he had to work hard and do what he was told. He endured that for a little over a year. That brings us to today.
Something had to give, the way he explained it made it sound like a corporate death trap of suffering and mediocrity, where the only glimpse of light was casual Friday..So what happened?? Calculated BOSS-NESS.
So Cody was on a contract for a special project and at the end of that there was going to be an evaluation for a raise and to switch over to another project. The project was all finished and both of his other bosses were busy for the rest of the week. So he figured, come project review day he would quit then, it was perfect timing. At this point it is Sunday and project review day aka Quiting day is the following friday and the end of the work day. A full 5 days left. PEAK!
So what do you do when your project is all finished, you are not gonna talk to your bosses until friday, and you are going to quit? Exactly, just coast out the rest of the week.
Here is what Cody did:
- Went into work everyday of the week, about 30min more tardy than the usual.
- Spent the morning doing some personal reading, WSJ, a book, or just some online research.
- Ate all the employee food and even took bites of other coworkers food.
- watched sharktank for 1-2 hours a day
- took extra long lunch breaks every day
- there was a birthday, so one day was spent eating ice-cream cake and talking, followed by an hour nap at the desk.
- told coworkers “Im working on this super important project for Steve” to get out of doing any work.
- spent hours playing playing online games, browsing the net.
- made $400 doing craigslist survey studies
- and took enough paper, pens, folders, post-its, staples, paper clips, ink toner, and break-room M&M’s to stock his new “home office” for six months (if he actually works)
And this was all before Friday!
Friday was extra special. Quitting day. After not doing a single piece of work all week and continuing the trend friday. The day consisted of:
- breakfast and light music
- spent $100 on amazon
- ate half of someone’s sandwich and blamed it on the guy in the next cube over who he hates
- ate the last piece of ice-cream cake, right before some girl wanted it haha
- told the hottest girl at in the office that her boobs were too small but he would do her anyway
- and was looking like he was busy the whole time.
Well it is time for the show. At the end of friday he had the meeting with his boss about his project, everything went well and they wanted to move forward with Cody’s next project, which from what Cody explained is basically busy work. So what did he say?
He threw down his parking pass and key card and said he quit. because “this job is for old men who move slow, give up on life, and die unimportant” a swift K.O. if i ever saw one.
Anyway. I felt Cody exaggerated what happened after that point so ill leave it out. He quit. Didnt work all week. Had the last piece of cake and walked out like a BOSS that evening. He is currently looking for work haha